The Crumbling Steps of Marriage In the article, Why Marriages Fail, by Annie Roiphe, she expresses the success and destruction of marriage, how and why they fail. She believes that most marriages have different phases and interference from various outside sources that puts the marriage through different tests to prove whether it will last or not. Three reasons marriages fail is due to lack of communication, outside pressures, and lack of sacrifice. In Why Marriages Fail, one of the reasons named for why marriages fail is lack of communication.
In the article, Roiphe states, “Dishonesty, iding and cheating create walls between men and women” (Roiphe, 553). This quote states that when a couple begins to keep secrets from each other, it creates an elephant in the room and communication thus, is not the same. I agree with this quote because once someone does something wrong, guilt comes in. Through guilt, it then becomes hard for them to talk to each other about problems. When there’s no communication, it can only lead to more cheating and dishonesty until the only thing to resolve the issue is divorce.
Along with lack of communication, the author also names outside pressures as another source that destroys marriages. With marriage, other problems kick in to test the strength of the marriage, whether it will survive or not. In the article, the author states, “Outside pressures such as Job loss, illness, infertility….. and all other plagues of life hit marriage… ” (Roiphe, 551). The author simply says that when different issues occur in a marriage the couple can’t come together to solve the problem(s).
I agree with this quote because this can occur when marriage is initiated for the wrong reasons. For example, a woman may marry a man because of the wealth he has. However, one day, the man loses his Job and all the fortune that came along with that. The marriage then crumbles because it came together for the wrong reasons and when the main reason disappears, there is no longer a pedestal for the marriage to stand upon. It is also possible for outside pressures to break a marriage when it has begun for the right reasons.
With age, some people mature and some don’t, causing a difference in original personalities. One main example of this is children. A woman may Jump into marriage with a man, but then kids come into the picture down the lane. His lack of ability to properly pose as a fatherly fgure for the children and ability to provide for them can kill the arriage. When having trouble with marriage, someone always points fingers at the other participant in the couple. In this case, it would be the husbands fault and due to his inability to help raise children, seeking divorce would be the only thing to do.
Lack of sacrifice is another one of the big reasons marriages fail. Roiphe explains that, “Marriage requires sexual, financial, and emotional discipline” (Roiphe, 553). In a lot of marriages, either one or both people in the marriage can not resist to sacrifice different aspects that they have grew up conformed to. The man or woman may fail o realize the sexual, financial, or emotional needs of their spouse. When this occurs, just like I stated above, miscommunication results. The couple becomes afraid to express tnemselves ana say now tney reel.
For example, a man may work crazy nours, keeping him away from home. The woman’s sexual needs may be affected, however, the financial needs of the family outweighs her needs. Once again, miscommunication results and it’s hard to find a solution. Marriage is a huge step that people Jump into in life. As discussed, some or most don’t do it for the right reasons. As stated in the article, “Divorce can be…. step toward new health and a good life” (Roiphe, 553). Marriages aren’t intended to lead to divorce.
However, when it is started for the wrong reasons, divorce is then needed in order for the couple to go their separate ways and live the life that couldn’t before. Some may find the one they were intended to marry and others may Just continue single and onto a successful career. Whichever path they choose to take, divorce is only the beginning. Word Count: 741 Work Cited Roiphe, Anne. “Why Marriages Fail” Strategies for Successful Writing A Rhetoric Research Guide, Reader, and Handbook 9th ed. Prentice Hall, 2006 Page 551-553